What is the proper etiquette for monogramming a bridal trousseau?

Marking one’s linens with initials has been a practice for hundreds of years. As with any historic tradition, the rules and methods evolve over time. Traditional etiquette for a bridal trousseau would have nearly all the household linens monogrammed with the wife’s married initials (first, married, maiden). The married surname initial typically appears center with the wife’s first initial on the left and maiden initial on the right. 

The traditional etiquette originated because young girls would prepare their trousseau years in advance of their marriage. They would be able to pre-embroider their first and maiden initials, and once they became engaged, would then be able to begin embroidering their surname in the center. Eventually, women did not sew their own trousseaux but the method remained the same throughout the centuries. The only exception to this rule, probably dating back to the early 20th century when men and women had separate parlors for entertaining, is that barware such as cocktail napkins and guest towels typically received the husband’s initials (first, last, middle).

Many modern couples wish to forego tradition and incorporate both the husband’s and wife’s first initials. In this case, the proper order is wife’s first, married surname, husband’s first. 

I like the tradition of monogramming but have an untraditional marriage. How can I create a monogram for my situation?

My philosophy is that you can create your own tradition! The world has loosened up quite a bit since kings and queens first emblazoned their crest on their royal beds. There are many ways to use the art of monogramming to create something that reflects you and your life.

For couples where both keep their born initials, a wonderful and unique alternative to the standard 3-letter monogram is a cipher. A cipher is when 2 letters are combined one on top of the other. A couple can combine their two last names or even their first initials – sometimes it depends on what letters lend themselves to a monogram best. 

Another option would be to do single initials, one on each pillow of the bed, as a clever “his and hers”. Single initials add interest and variety when mixed with more traditionally monogrammed items as well.

Many names might feature a “O’”, a “Mc” or a suffix such as “Jr”, “II” or “IV”. These can be incorporated into the monogram to create something truly unique. The below is an example wherein “Jr” was incorporated into the design by tucking it into the center initial.

How do I select a monogram style?

One thing to consider is what type of monogram you like. There are typically two types to consider:

Appliqué is a needlework technique wherein the design is “applied” using fabric stitched to another piece of fabric. The applied fabric creates the design or monogram. Appliqué is a rare technique that is difficult to find. First, the monogram or design is patterned by hand. The pattern is transferred to the linen with tailor’s chalk. The appliqué artist then cords a piece of fabric, tracing the pattern. The excess fabric is cut away, leaving behind the finished design.

Embroidery is a needlework technique wherein the design is stitched in thread.  There are several stitch styles and techniques to allow for elaborate and complex designs. The thread itself creates the design or monogram. While embroidery is still commonly found, most embroidery companies offer computerized embroidery and only one or two different stitch styles. Hand and Hand-guided embroidery is much more difficult to find, but allows for much more freedom in the design, stitch technique, and complexity. For a hand-embroidered piece, several lengthy steps are followed to complete the embellishment. First, the artist sketches the monogram with the appropriate initials/letters. This design is sketched to size and transferred to linen with tailor’s chalk. Then, the embroiderer embroiders over the chalk design on her machine.

From a purely aesthetic point of view, appliqué tends to be more bold and graphic, wherein embroidery appears more delicate. Appliqué is more difficult to find and may be more attractive to you if you are looking for something more unique that will stand out amongst your peers. For both appliqué and embroidery, there’s a wide range of designs that will compliment your personal style.